a stumble off my 'high horse'

I consider myself a fairly opinionated person. When I was younger, you know...back in the day, I didn't share my feelings as much. Now, as a grown ass woman I tend to share them even when they are not solicited. Yes, that's right, I'm that girl. Unsolicited opinions spew from me every so often and here's one bummer part about that...I have had friendships end over it. Apparently we were not that great of friends if all it took was for me to speak my mind, but still, a bit disheartening in the end.

I never thought that being opinionated (and sharing said opinions) would ever be a bad thing, but lately I've been trying to figure out a way to share less of what I personally think or feel regarding certain situations. This is especially true when it comes to my family and closest friends. I often feel like it is my duty to be honest (brutally at times) with them about choices they are making when it comes to their actions within their relationships, what to do and not to do while raising children (talk about a sensitive topic!) and general life choices. These are all things I should probably keep my nose out of, but with family and best friends...it.is.difficult! I should say that it is hard to sit back and watch some of the choices that are being made and not share my thinking. What makes it even more tricky is not coming across as an arrogant know-it-all, which I most certainly am not and don't want to be perceived as. Honestly, I watch and listen A LOT and when I see or hear things that are troubling, I feel like I should say something! Am I alone in this boat of open honesty? Maybe I just need a better filter for what and  much I say...

As far as healthy romantic relationships go, I am definitely no expert considering that it was not until I was 28 that I found myself in one. However, I am well aware of what red flags in relationships look like as well as what are the risky things a person can do to end a relationship before it has even had a chance to succeed, seeing as I have experienced many first hand. When I share my concerns with family and friends regarding their present relationships, it is not out of arrogance or thinking that I know everything or am doing things better, it is simply to show my genuine concern and highlight mistakes that I have made so no one ends up repeating the past. Again, most people don't view unsolicited opinions or advice as concern. It puts me in a tricky position, let my feelings be known or bite my tongue and let the chips fall where they may in turn disregarding the probable heartache and endless hours of crying that will possibly come to be if I say nothing. Heck, even if I say something this could still be the outcome, but at least I can feel a bit less guilty given my forewarning.

Giving kid advice to parents is really never taken well, no matter what the reasons or motives behind it. I pretty much always get the same response..."You are not a parent so you have no idea how I should be raising my child." This is usually said in a nastier way and is a bit like a smack in the face every time. Sure, I don't have kids of my own, but I grew up with younger siblings, spent my entire young adult life caring for and working with children and oh, you know, only devoted around seven years (and counting) learning everything I could about teaching and caring for kids from birth to adult. That's clearly not the same though and I should probably just shut my stupid non-parent mouth for even suggesting that yoooouuuur method was possibly not the best one. I get it, sensitive subject, but all arrogance aside, I do know stuff about childrearing and development. Actually, lots of stuff. I listened, participated and studied like a crazy person all through university, so yes, I like to think that I am qualified to offer useful and knowledgeable advice. Perhaps if I ever choose to have kids of my own someday I will understand first hand why parents take such offense when offered any unsolicited advice or opinions, but until that time I am going to work on holding my tongue a bit more than I would like and not necessarily sharing aaaaall my feelings, concerns, or actual experience, whether theoretical or practical with the people I care about. More offense seems to be taken when I am really just voicing genuine concern. Consider this my dismount from my apparent "high horse." From now on I will try my best to offer blissful support and encouragement. And hey, if I can't manage that then I will just smile and keep my mouth shut :)

My grown up Christmas list

Twelve days of Christmas? Yep:D Here are my 12 reasons for L-O-V-I-N-G Christmas and the holiday season :)

12. Multicolored lights and decorations on and in houses as well as in yards and stores.

11. Brainstorming and coming up with the perfect gift for everyone who matters the most

10. Feeling (and being excited) like a kid again :)

9. TONS of time with family singing, eating, laughing and loving!

8. Keeping old traditions alive and beginning new ones:)

7. A time for introspection, appreciation and giving

6. Finding the perfect Christmas tree and decorating to holiday tunes while remembering where each and every ornament came from or what grade it was made :)

5. How my mom's house smells ♥

4. Dogs wearing sweaters and laying by the fire

3. The possibility of snow and a white Christmas (even though we live in Oregon;)

2. Wrapping gifts while watching Christmas movies

1. Setting new goals to strive for in the new year (or revamping previous ones)

 

What's your grown up Christmas list? ♥

 



Recuerdos felices

This weekend at the beach Adam and I made a few more special memories to add to our ever growing repertoire:) I hope that we never get tired of making time for one another and taking fun, little weekend getaways full of silliness and laughter! ♥

 

 

                               

 

There's that smile that won my heart :)                               teaching Adam about elevator pics ♥

 

I love feeling like his little parrot!

 



                               

Didn't even see Santa sipping his Paps!                                          Our life is a bit like a beach :)




Singing Christmas tree in town!

Sunday morning breakfast with this really, really, ridiculously goooood looking man ♥

 



Tricky surprises

When I found out that Adam was working twelve hour nights shifts the entire week of his birthday and wouldn't be putting together an outing to celebrate with friends I decided I wanted to arrange a surprise bowling and beers birthday for him :) This turned out to be MUCH more complicated than I ever intended it to be. The way I saw it, there were two possible options for planning this surprise: IF and only if Adam could get his weekend shift of 12's covered, Saturday and Sunday, then the party could be Saturday the 7th. However, if he couldn't find someone to cover, the party would be the following Saturday, December 14th which would be on the same night as another party most of our friends were invited too. Fridays were not an option seeing as he works swing shift now and doesn't even get home until 11 p.m. and let's face it, our friends do not start nights out at 11 p.m. Pushing the surprise party any later into December and it is Christmas. I found out pretty quickly that the 7th of December was not going to be an option and decided on the 14th even though there was a graduation party planned for 8 p.m. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal for our friends to do both since Adam's wasn't until close to 10 p.m. and it is the holiday season aka the season for party and gathering cramming.

Long story short, most people couldn't be there to surprise Adam because they would be at the other party and many didn't think they would show up at all. There were a bunch of people that never even responded to the invite at all. RUDE. I was pretty disappointed to say the least and cancelled the party last Tuesday seeing as it would be a pretty lame surprise party with no one there to yell surprise. I spoke with my mom and was able to book a last minute room at our timeshare in Seaside for Friday and Saturday night, thus opting to surprise Adam with a birthday beach get away instead. Was I hoping that Adam would be able to celebrate with his friends for his birthday? Yes. I just wanted him to have a fantastic birthday and feel loved since he has had a pretty shitty month working 12 days straight. He deserved better for his birthday month.

 

Since Adam wouldn't get home from work until close to 11 p.m. Friday night, my parents were going to head to Seaside and use the timeshare Friday since driving to the beach around midnight didn't sound super fun and I had my tattoo appointment scheduled for Saturday at 12:30 p.m. Adam and I would leave around 2 p.m. Saturday for the beach. Friday came and my parents both weren't feeling well and decided not to go so instead of losing a night we were already paying for, I changed my tattoo appointment and got Adam on board to spontaneously leave after he was off work Friday night and spend the whole weekend there:) He is a trooper and was just excited to find out where we were going! We hit the road for Seaside, he was driving and I was giving directions without revealing where exactly we were going, and we made it to Seaside at around 1:30 a.m. The drive wasn't too bad, just some bad spots of fog where the areas are clear cut. Got all checked in and headed to bed. Turned out to be quite a different weekend than I originally planned, but all in all I'm just happy to have been able to give Adam a great birthday surprise and spend some time together. What better way than to enjoy a few days on the Oregon coast :) I love you babe, happy 31st birthday!

 

Friday the 13th

I've never been too superstitious regarding Friday the 13th. I don't imagine bad things are more likely to happen to me today verses on another day. I actually think it is pretty cool when a Friday the 13th rolls around :) Instead of it being deemed an unlucky day, why not consider it a lucky day since we hardly ever have one? Maybe I'll even buy a few lotto tickets today...goodness knows that I never buy lotto tickets:)
Today is a fairly normal work day for me...I did have some time to customize my future mini cooper;) Which is exciting! Adam stills needs to teach me how to drive a standard, last time I attempted to learn was back in high school, but I'm having fun looking for my next car!

Getting a new car, aka my mini, has been in the back of my mind all this year, especially with Adam getting a new car. However, it was brought to the forefront of my mind yesterday when I picked up a nail in my front jeep tire and had to get it fixed at America's Tires. The guy who helped me mentioned that he was in the market for a jeep to take to the mountain and asked me if I wanted to sell mine. I laughed at first and then said, "maybe!" Don't get me wrong, I loooooove my jeep. Shoot, I love jeeps in general, but I've been contemplating what it would be like to have a newer than 1997 vehicle. As of now, it's still a pipe dream, but hey, sometimes a girl needs a dreaming day :)

I'm excited for this weekend as well. Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment to hopefully get my elephant tattoo, as long as I like the design that my tattoo dude, Adam, has come up with. I'm stoked to see it! This girl could have her first tattoo tomorrow:)
I was also SUPER disappointed to have to cancel Adam's surprise bowling and beers party for tomorrow night. I won't get into it too much here as I have been upset about all week. I made other surprise plans for Adam instead :) I hope he likes them! I'm glad we have the weekend together seeing as Adam is switching shifts again next week. Bummer for him and for us, but we are trying to deal with work stuff as it comes. Hoping for a new and better things at work for Adam in the new year. I will post some pictures from what I hope will be a fun-filled Saturday :)
Happy Friday the 13th friends!

Aruba. Jamaica. Oooooh I wanna take ya!

After much contemplating, flight searching and chit chatting, I think that Adam and I have finally decided on a travel/vacation destination for the end of March/early April! Originally, we were thinking Fiji. I mean who doesn't have Fiji on their must travel to list?! My parents even have a timeshare there we can stay depending on availability. It is NOT cheap to get to Fiji. Fiji is faaaaaar. After coffee and breakfast, we spent some time this morning looking up flights around our idea travel time and actually found a few decent deals. However, seeing as Fiji is so stinking far, honestly I would rather spend that kind of money to fly to Europe and travel around there for a few weeks, in the end we opted to choose a closer destination (flight wise). Adam was looking through the timeshare location book and came up with Aruba :) I said, "Sure! Why not Aruba?" So what is my job today? To check out flights to Aruba! I spoke with my mom this afternoon and she also mentioned checking out St. Thomas... Hmmm...either way it seems like a vacation win to me and a sunshiney, awesome little ten day get away in the works for Fetrina! :)

Champagne for my real friends

How you can truly tell who your real friends are? Your real friends are the people that genuinely make an effort to make time for you. Over the years I have gone back and forth with friends in my life and the one thing that I have come to learn is that the people who truly value me as a friend will always, always, ALWAYS find or make time for me. Friends in your life that are only around for the good times, but are scarce in the difficult times are not really friends that you can rely upon in the long run. I can probably count on one (and a half) hands the friends in my life who fit this description and when I am let down by others in my life all I have to do is remember these friends, take a deep breath and be grateful for those in my life who never let me down. 

 

The last few weeks have been frustrating and emotionally draining dealing with friends not being able to make or take some time. I was so glad to end today on a happy note with two friends who never fail to be able to make time for me and me for them. It means so much more than you know Leah and Katie and I love you girls mucho for making our friendship a priority in your busy lives.