a stumble off my 'high horse'

I consider myself a fairly opinionated person. When I was younger, you know...back in the day, I didn't share my feelings as much. Now, as a grown ass woman I tend to share them even when they are not solicited. Yes, that's right, I'm that girl. Unsolicited opinions spew from me every so often and here's one bummer part about that...I have had friendships end over it. Apparently we were not that great of friends if all it took was for me to speak my mind, but still, a bit disheartening in the end.

I never thought that being opinionated (and sharing said opinions) would ever be a bad thing, but lately I've been trying to figure out a way to share less of what I personally think or feel regarding certain situations. This is especially true when it comes to my family and closest friends. I often feel like it is my duty to be honest (brutally at times) with them about choices they are making when it comes to their actions within their relationships, what to do and not to do while raising children (talk about a sensitive topic!) and general life choices. These are all things I should probably keep my nose out of, but with family and best friends...it.is.difficult! I should say that it is hard to sit back and watch some of the choices that are being made and not share my thinking. What makes it even more tricky is not coming across as an arrogant know-it-all, which I most certainly am not and don't want to be perceived as. Honestly, I watch and listen A LOT and when I see or hear things that are troubling, I feel like I should say something! Am I alone in this boat of open honesty? Maybe I just need a better filter for what and  much I say...

As far as healthy romantic relationships go, I am definitely no expert considering that it was not until I was 28 that I found myself in one. However, I am well aware of what red flags in relationships look like as well as what are the risky things a person can do to end a relationship before it has even had a chance to succeed, seeing as I have experienced many first hand. When I share my concerns with family and friends regarding their present relationships, it is not out of arrogance or thinking that I know everything or am doing things better, it is simply to show my genuine concern and highlight mistakes that I have made so no one ends up repeating the past. Again, most people don't view unsolicited opinions or advice as concern. It puts me in a tricky position, let my feelings be known or bite my tongue and let the chips fall where they may in turn disregarding the probable heartache and endless hours of crying that will possibly come to be if I say nothing. Heck, even if I say something this could still be the outcome, but at least I can feel a bit less guilty given my forewarning.

Giving kid advice to parents is really never taken well, no matter what the reasons or motives behind it. I pretty much always get the same response..."You are not a parent so you have no idea how I should be raising my child." This is usually said in a nastier way and is a bit like a smack in the face every time. Sure, I don't have kids of my own, but I grew up with younger siblings, spent my entire young adult life caring for and working with children and oh, you know, only devoted around seven years (and counting) learning everything I could about teaching and caring for kids from birth to adult. That's clearly not the same though and I should probably just shut my stupid non-parent mouth for even suggesting that yoooouuuur method was possibly not the best one. I get it, sensitive subject, but all arrogance aside, I do know stuff about childrearing and development. Actually, lots of stuff. I listened, participated and studied like a crazy person all through university, so yes, I like to think that I am qualified to offer useful and knowledgeable advice. Perhaps if I ever choose to have kids of my own someday I will understand first hand why parents take such offense when offered any unsolicited advice or opinions, but until that time I am going to work on holding my tongue a bit more than I would like and not necessarily sharing aaaaall my feelings, concerns, or actual experience, whether theoretical or practical with the people I care about. More offense seems to be taken when I am really just voicing genuine concern. Consider this my dismount from my apparent "high horse." From now on I will try my best to offer blissful support and encouragement. And hey, if I can't manage that then I will just smile and keep my mouth shut :)