15 year old me

Wow. This one is a thinker. I like thinkers :)

How much we grow and change over the years is astonishing. I am bits and pieces of who I was at 15, most of the innocence and naivety gone, but so much of how I view the world and myself has changed dramatically, and I am glad for this. If I could sit down with my 15 year old self as a two-months-shy-of-my-31st-birthday-adult, I can think of a few things that I would share in hopes of easing some of her 15 year old stress.

At 15 years old I was only a few months into my freshman year of high school and still very shy in most social situations, being around my closest friends being the exception. No serious boyfriends yet and school and dancing were at the top of my serious priority list. I was focused, driven and determined to do well and make my parents and teachers proud of me. I was, hands down, your classic people pleaser. I was often so afraid of failing that I simply opted out of trying new things. For example, I wanted to play basketball, soccer and sing in the 'fancy' choir, but I was too afraid to try out, look stupid and worst of all, fail. Some of these attributes remain the same in me today. Some are very different... :) Now I am louder, more social, and no longer afraid to try AND fail at things, which is huge! This alone has opened so many doors. I now more often am willing to take risks and put myself out there. The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward after all :)

Straight away, I would tell 15 year old me that she is never going to make everyone happy so don't waste too much time stressing about it. The most important thing to remember is to always ALWAYS bring your best in all that you attempt. I would also tell her that failing at something is a wonderful way to learn! Embrace failures and try to learn something new, continuing to apply these life lessons when you encounter new ventures.
One of the most important things that I would share with her is to spend more time laughing with family and girl friends and leave those boys for later years:) There is plenty of time for boys. Boys can be good friends too:)  Man OH MAN was 15 year old me boy crazy! She could not wait to date and kiss boys and have somebody treat her like she was special. As a 30 year old, I would look at 15 year old me and tell her that she is already special :) That her worth is not determined by how many boys think she is good looking and want to date her. This alone could have solved many self-esteem issues that 15 year old me had. If she would have been able to just be as free and fun as she was around her girl friends, not caring (to some extent) what people thought of her, many stressors would have been alleviated :)
In short,
15 year old me, you are already awesome :) You are kind, friendly, a good dancer and student, you love your family and work hard to achieve the goals you set for yourself...keep up the good work and enjoy being you!

With love,
30 year old you

A golden oldie with some good friends from 15 :)