now you're speaking my language

Today has me thinking about how important it is to show those who matter most to you just how much you love them. So often our families and our friends feel a lack of love and support for one reason or another...and whose fault is this? The problem may lie in the fact that the people in question are unaware of how they want to be loved as well as how the best way to love someone is.

During my undergrad education at WOU, I took this great child development course that truly opened my eyes to feeling as well as giving love. Who would have ever guessed that people do not give and receive love the same way??!! That's absurd. Cleeeeaaarly everyone is the same and thus how we love is the same. MIND. BLOWN. Not only is there not one universal language of love, there are five! Can you believe that? Five different ways people receive and give love! There is even a quiz to help you determine which language speaks best for yourself in case one doesn't immediately jump out at you upon viewing the list of five love languages: 1. words of affirmation 2. gifts 3. quality time 4. acts of service 5. physical touch. Upon actually taking the love language determiner quiz, I found out something unique about myself...I scored equally high scores of 9 out of 12 in TWO love languages! After further reading I found that it is fairly normal to have two language that score higher than the others, but to have two that rank the exact same high number of 9? If I wasn't interested before...this concept now had my full attention.

The two languages that, for lack of better words, blew the other love languages out of the water for myself were quality time and physical touch. The quality time language was an obvious one for me. I absolutely crave quality time with the people who mean the most to me in order for our relationship to be flourish. In regards to my family, Adam, and my friends, if I don't feel as though a genuine effort is being made to spend quality time with me I tend to feel neglected, which leads to unfortunate feelings of bitterness and even anger in some respects. It truly stinks to have quality time as my main love language for one reason...the advancement of technology. As technology continues to thrive and new ways in which NOT to see people face to face are invented I find that it gets more difficult for me to 'feel the love' so to speak. Having daily relationships with close friends like in one of my all time favorite television shows Friends seems to be a thing of the past, when this is what I truly desire. I love to see my friends as often as possible, to laugh with them, and genuinely be a part of their lives. I don't want to simply live on a Facebook wall or message. I can count on one hand the friends that know me well enough to KNOW that this is what I need. I am also convinced that this is part of the reason I did so well living on my own in a foreign country for a year...everyday after work my co-workers/friends went out for happy hour =) Thus spending tons of qt together. I can offer to take the blame for some of the 'not knowing' just how important quality time is to me, perhaps I never said anything, but not all the blame. Perhaps it will be me who must adapt in the end, which in turn requires me learning to be less sensitive.

Physical touch was my other high flyer. This one was interesting, but accurate non the less. I'm a hand holder, hugger and love kisses! Every time Adam and I go out and are sitting side by side I like-no, require us to sit so close that our legs touch. For me, it's the closeness that matters. I don't like to leave after a visit with my parents without a hug goodbye as well. Never underestimate the power of a good hug! With close friends I give hugs and/or high fives :) Apparently it's frowned upon to hold hands with all your friends hehe =D Perhaps this is why I love animals so much. Such soft, snuggly fur and most are up for a hug (length TBD by said animal;) I trained Falcon from the day I brought her home to be a snuggler! One would never know based on her normal demeanor, but she is a great napping buddy! So yes, I can see how touch scored so high on my Rach love-O-meter:)

The moral of today's post you ask besides getting to know a bit more information you never realized you wanted to know about yours truly? Learning and sharing with those whom love you most what your personal love language is can help to determine how positive your interactions and relationships will be. You, in turn, must also be willing to put in the effort to show love in the language that speaks best to those around you that you care for. How wonderful would it be if we all spoke one another's languages of love?? Give it a go, take the quiz and pass it on to those around you. Not only will it help you understand your own needs, but you can learn to love those in your life more efficiently and effectively :) That being said, do you best to remember the following: (like I have to every day)